Daily Musings

The Social Networking Menace

2012-02-26T22:57:00.000-08:00

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not from the old school who are against Facebook and say that it is invading our privacy. Infact I love Facebook, I am a regular visitor (which is once in a week). I post status updates, pictures and comments and totally love the concept.
However there are some issues I have with it.
People you knew in kindergarten suddenly look you up and want to catch up with you. People you went to school/ college with but didn’t really know, some you didn’t want to know and some you avoided for good reason are now in your friends list and acting like your bosom pals. Most of them did not even know your first name in school. And some were your sworn enemies. Ofcourse you have the option of not including them in your list. But sometimes it’s embarrassing as they will keep showing up on the pages of common friends asking why you have not added them as yet.
They will be commenting on your pictures about how you have changed when they don’t remember how you looked in the first place. Some will insist on sending you invites or gifts from various games such as Farmville, Treasure Isles and similar sounding names which you don’t really plan to ever play. And some will be commenting on your status updates on how your sense of humour is the same. Though they never spoke to you before.
Another phenomenon is the new form of Public Display of Affection. It’s really great you are in love with your boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancée/ spouse but do you want to put up lovey dovey messages as your status update for the entire world to read. Isn’t it personal and something your partner might not like plastered over your profile. Personally it looks like an attention seeking gimmick.
The same is true with pictures. Some pictures should not be put on public platform. They were clicked to capture a special moment not to be put up to get maximum coverage. Also there is way to maintain privacy settings of your albums. You don’t know what kinds of creatures are present online these days. Why give them easy access to you and your friend’s/ baby’s/ relative’s photos?
And lastly circulate photos and videos of someone else’s embarrassing moments. It was ok till it was some baby dancing or cats falling. However recently I saw a video of the Delhi (New Years) molestation case doing the rounds on Facebook. What’s worse is the person shooting is not concerned about getting the culprits faces but is trying to capture the girl who is hiding from the cameras. Hasn’t she suffered enough without subjecting her to this indignity? If the person shooting actually wanted to help he could have shot the people responsible for this heinous crime.
Facebook is a great medium to get in touch with long lost friends. Especially for people like us who left schools in the age of landline phones and had that 5 digit number as the sole contact point. I have actually managed to find all my school friends and college pals. But as I said, I hope some had not found me.

Can I be her?

2012-01-01T22:20:00.001-08:00

Have you ever met your alter ego? You know the girl who walks into the room and all eyes turn on her. Her clothes are impeccable, her hair is perfect, understated makeup and jewellery and awesome shoes.
But more than all this it is her attitude -confident to the point of being arrogant. She carries herself and this attitude with aplomb. She looks like a woman with a mission and with no time for fools.
In airports she will be tapping her perfectly done nails against her bag while waiting for security check, her laptop already put for camera check, at malls she will be checking some disgustingly expensive item with a half bored expression while the shop assistant is fawning over her, in movies she will be sipping her cola drink while her partner is trying to impress her and in restaurants she will be the centre of attention. And I want to be her. The lady who supposedly has the world at her feet. She knows where she is going, has a perfectly planned route on how to get there and has already started walking on her way. I on the other hand knew where I was going, took a wrong turn several times and now I am helplessly lost.
So how do I become her? Well apart from spending a million bucks to look like a million bucks. Though I don’t think that’s the solution. These ladies could be wearing a sack and will make it look like D&G. So I need the attitude. Which I unfortunately can’t buy. That needs to be cultivated. However I was never much of a farmer.
What about looking sure and confident. My general demeanour is confused and anxious. I guess it goes with having the attitude mentioned above.
I think my quest for becoming my alter ego is will remain a quest. She seems to be everywhere but not in my mirror.

Life @ 30

2011-12-27T23:18:00.000-08:00

Youth is arrogant and a little wistful. When you are young you feel like you will never get old. ‘Old’ is something that happens to the other people. You laugh at the age miracle cream ads, flip through the ‘younger looking hairstyles’ articles and ignore the well meaning advice of elders to not wear heels as later it will affect your back.
However when you start approaching the big 3 O, your perception changes dramatically. Your see these changes slowly as the colony kids start calling you ‘aunty’ instead of the usual ‘didi’, as you slowly start using the phrase, ‘the new generation’ and as you notice your first grey hair.
Suddenly the age miracle cream ads make a lot of sense and you watch them carefully to see which one will actually deliver what it promises - your lost youth. You insist that your hairstylist look at something which covers the grey and make you look ‘younger’ and you curse all the high heels you wore that has now given you the perpetual backache and
When I reached this milestone in my life I suffered from all the above symptoms. Also there were a few additional side-effects such as the husband’s callous comments like – “Are you wearing that? Isn’t it a little too young for you?” or a friendly advice like “why don’t you check out the new concealor in the market.”
I started identifying with phrases such as ‘over the hill’ and ‘downhill from now on’. But I decided to look at the brighter side. I thought – No more acnes or pimples, or worrying about the latest college fashions, no more heartbreaks and teary eyed nights, no more crazy impulses to get a tattoo done. The initial days of struggle to settle and find a suitable job and then a suitable boy (in that order) are finally over. There are no more early morning colleges, lectures or assignments. Of course they have been replaced with the early morning office, meetings and late night presentations.
After all I was now a sensible adult who had learnt from her life’s mistakes (quite a few of those actually). Things could only get better I thought positively as I looked at the slight thickening of my waistline. After all how many glossy lifestyle magazines claimed that ‘life begins at 30’. So what if the main source of revenue of these magazines are the make up giants who promise to erase the tell-tale wrinkle signs from your face. There are many pluses of growing old. As the saying goes, you become wiser with the age. And also you finally stop caring so much about the calories and start piling on the pastries (of course this differs on a case to case basis). Your spending on shoes go done considerably (remember the heels issue) and you can look at the younger generation with a superior smirk.
So I am going to advocate the phrase ‘Life begins at 30’..... Till I reach 40.

Living in fear...

2011-07-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

I fail to understand the justice system in India. How come several poor people spend their entire lives in jail as under trials and the actual crooks who are like cancer spreading in the society manage to get away?
To begin with the media favorite terrorist Kasab. Why was the sham of a trial conducted for over 2 years when he had been caught in action? And when it finally ended he is still biding his time going to higher courts and challenge his sentence. The tax money we pay through our noses is going in keeping him comfortable. Ironically some of the money which went into building a fortress for him might have come from the pockets of those he killed.
Maybe if these funds were diverted to intelligence team they would have figured out the many terrorist attacks that happen on Mumbai before.
Then there are our scam happy ministers who are being ‘quizzed by CBI’ on daily basis but nothing seem to be happen. Why is it that they are allowed out on bail in the comfort of their homes even when there are cases registered against them which are still undergoing trial? Are there different set of rules for the poor and downtrodden. Is the equality of all citizens, nothing but a line in our constitution?
The so called ‘Honor Killings’ in which its glaringly clear as to who committed the heinous crime remains in the dubious ‘unsolved’ category. And the perpetrators of the crime remain out on bail.
It’s sad that it takes public outcry for glaringly obvious cases to get solved – Example – Jessica Lall murder case.
Also our police are yet to learn how to handle a crime scene. Mistakes from their end sometimes helps the criminal get away with murder – literally. No one till date knows what happened to Aarushi.
And there are scores of rapes, murders, harassments which do not get media attention and hence remain in shadows and die a slow painful death in the long court battles.
Till death Scarlett (Keeling’s ) mother is fighting to get the her daughter’s murderer behind bars but to no avail. The powerful drug lord is out there, maybe preying on other innocent girls.
There was a time when we dreamed of a fearless India, a place where women, children and senior citizens were safe. They were free to move and live their own lives. But today there is darkness all around. Monsters lurk in every corner. Sometimes the protectors turn tormentors. And when injustice is done, then our legal system takes a long time to help the victims, sometimes even that does not happen.
How long will we keep existing like this, fearing for ourselves and our loved ones, trying to hide from internal and external terrorists……living in fear…..

Mumbai hit again!

2011-07-18T00:34:00.000-07:00

Yes! It has happened again. Another set of innocent people have died. The media has gone into overdrive, covering the blood and gore and the ministers have done their number.
What next? Nothing. Like always we will shake our heads over the ‘unfortunate incident’, mumble condolences and walk on hoping that the next time it’s not us.
For most of us the headlines screaming ’21 dead’ is just a statistic but for some of us it’s our people. Our very own who died and it’s changed the course of life for all those attached to that one life. Every time after such terror attacks its heart rendering to read the stories of those who lost their sons, fathers, brothers, husbands, mothers. wives, daughters.
The cold and dark hand of terror touches lives in many ways. A tea vendor who was the only earning member of his family, A young boy engaged few months back, a middle aged man who had gone to get a bite to eat. Regular people. Like me and you. Going about their daily business to earn a living. Minding their own business. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But how do we know what is the wrong place. Is there any place left which is right??
It has become a drill. An attack happens, panic grips the city, networks get jammed making the panic spiral as you can’t reach your loved ones, media shows gory images of blood sending a cold chill down your spine, the somber looking politician come and mouth the same old lines (they probably have a speech ready for such times), police promise they will catch the culprit and within hours life is back to normal at least for those who were lucky enough to escape.
If anything the lives of normal citizens become difficult as there are check nakas on rad slowing down traffic, double checking in malls slowing down parking and tempers are frayed due to high stress levels.
It is sad that we have become immune to terror, immune to death, immune to suffering. Does it not make us wonder if maybe our humane side is dead?
True, you can’t get affected every time, you can’t get bogged down, but we can put up a fight. It’s worthless to expect anything from our politician or police. They have never cared and they never will. They did their bit by appearing in front of media and looked somber. They have announced the worth of life by giving compensations to victims family (it may/ may not reach the families), they have strongly condemned the terrorist actions and now will go back to their useless bickering and power plays.
It is upon us to defend ourselves. To keep an eye around us. To be on constant alert, to double check around us when we travel in trains and buses.
We have to look out for us, because nobody else is.

No One Killed Scarlett

2011-01-27T04:33:00.000-08:00

Scarlett Keeling was a beautiful 15 year old British citizen, a tourist to our country who was brutally killed on the beaches of Goa. It’s been 4 years and yet there has been no justice for her mother Fiona.
Fiona has spent the last 4 years reliving the horrific site of her daughter’s severely bruised body. There was a massive cover up by the police as there were some influential names involved in this murder. The media uproar forced police to arrest a few people, one of them a well known drug dealer and head of a drug mafia but soon they were out on bail and today face much lesser charges as compared to the shocking crime they have committed.
What is heart rendering is that Scarlett was drugged then raped and left on the Anjuna beach to die, which she did by drowning. Even after seeing the bruises on her body the police first registered the case as ‘accidental drowning’ and reopened it only after Fiona protested and reported the case to higher authorities.
The shocking part is that the victim and her mother were blamed for ‘bringing this upon themselves’ by the police.
They claimed that Fiona had been ‘negligent’ by leaving her teenage daughter alone and going on a holiday with her friends. Scarlett was said to be a girl of loose morals who did drugs and had a boyfriend. Maybe Fiona was negligent, maybe Scarlett did do drugs but does that mean that they deserved this to happen to them?
Is our country so horrible and monstrous that a mother dare not leave her daughter alone even for a few days if she wants her to be safe? This is Goa we are talking about. Goa is suppose to be about beauty, relaxation, happiness not murders.
Is it a wonder that even though we are probably the only country to have beaches, mountains and forests and still are unable to attract a large number of tourists. The crime graph of every city sees to be shooting up and the fastest a case comes for trail is one year. There are long backlogs that our courts are still trying to catch up with and many parents/ siblings/ spouses who are living and fighting the endless fight for justice. Nothing will bring back those they lost, but atleast they will have a sense of closure of knowing that justice was served and no one else will suffer by the hands of the monsters who killed their happiness.
I am not too sure what happened to Scarlett’s case. Once the item was old, the media lost interest in it too. Since she was a British there was not much public outcry and anger. And slowly like many similar cases the news died.
Scarlett’s body was not released to Fiona for 3 years after her death.
Was Fiona given justice? Will Scarlett be able to sleep peacefully? Her tormentors are out now free, free to hunt and prey on other Scarletts.

House of Horrors

2010-12-08T03:29:00.001-08:00

I have recently shifted my house and have found a dream home.
However till now I had to live in a house which could have easily been used by Ramsay brothers for their movies without spending a penny for special effects.
Some of the ‘interesting happenings’ of this house were:

The Window Effect – The (sliding) windows of this house had a mind of their own. Once closed they would not open and once opened they would refuse to close. This can be a particularly difficult situation in rainy season where one minute it’s pouring so you need to close the window and the next minute it’s sweltering so you need to have some breeze in. The positive thing is I developed biceps struggling to open and close the windows.

The Fanny Thing – To begin with the fans had no connection with the regulators installed, they would move only at one speed, no matter how much you increased/ decreased the speed.
In the middle of night one would get up due to weird noises like a cat was clawing through a metal plate. It would be the fan protesting about being made to work. It would finally shut off. This would continue to happen no matter how many times, the electrician would come and check. If you were lucky it might start again on its own but don’t bet on it.

A door – to – door service – The door of the house was actually made with a high amount of security in mind. It was so secure that it would not open even with its own key. Only when kicked, punched and pushed really hard would it open? Hence the high security, you cannot enter your own house without your neighbors getting to know about it.

The bathrooms were the best. No matter how much you would clean/ wash/ disinfect there were some organisms which would survive and get in to your soaps and body washes much to your discomfort. They could be a new scientific discovery. They could probably survive atom bombs also.

Any complaints made to the landlord on the state of the house fell on deaf ears. His standard replies to our woes were to shift out if we had any issues, knowing well that due to time constraint we will wait out the one year lease. However the last straw was when a huge chunk of ceiling simply fell of in the kitchen. Thankfully the kitchen was empty at that point of time.
The landlord’s reply to this was that the owners of the house above must be stamping their feet????
We knew there was no way we would spend another day in that house and went on a whirlwind house hunt. Luckily we found something right next door and are now happily settled in what I described as a house of dreams.
As for the house of horrors all the best to any one courageous enough to rent it again.

No more happy endings

2010-10-14T02:58:00.000-07:00

It’s a sad day today as the divorce of one of my close friends gets finalized today. 3 years of marriage and 4 years of relationship has dissolved in to nothing. The worst is that all happy times and memories have been replaced by bitter fights and estrangement.
What led to the death of a relationship born out of love?
They were from different castes but belonged to families which put the happiness of their kids above everything else. They were both working and had stable incomes hence had no financial issues. Both as individuals were positive and well liked in their friends group. They had similar interests and in fact it was this similarity which had bought them closer.
So what happened? When you listen to them, you think even they are not too sure what caused the rift which finally became a chasm to wide to cross.
Small issues which became too much to live with day after day. He resented her closeness to her boss (even though the boss was happily married), her coming late, some of her friends and even the clothes she wore. Incidentally he was first attracted to her because he loved her dressing. She resented his constant jealousy and keeping tabs on her. His criticism about her dressing sense or choice of friends. The dreams that they had seen together also got divided. She wanted to have kids; he wanted to first buy a house.

None of these situations are new. Every married couple has some of these issues in their married lives. But soon these small skirmishes turned into big battles. And as it happens; in the heat of moment they said things that they later regretted, pulled their parents in to their fights, each and every small point/ incident was picked up dissected and used as a weapon against the other.
A time came when each became weary of the other. They avoided each other’s company, lived in the same house as strangers. Tired of living like this they decided to part ways and end what was supposed to be a partnership for life.

I was one of the bridesmaid in their wedding. A witness to their exchange of vows and commitment to each other. All of which came to naught.
I wondered what was better, parting ways and trying to find a chance of happiness again, or living together and trying to find that lost magic which had sparked the union to begin with.
All married couples have fights about various issues. Individuals grappling with daily lives fraught with stress and pressure, fighting the escalating costs and increasing standard of living have lesser and lesser patience with each other. It is killing a lot of relationships today. But is this sacred relationship not worth saving? Not worth fighting for? After all is that not the vow we take? – For better or for worse… till death do us apart.

Justice Denied

2010-10-06T22:25:00.001-07:00

It’s a sad day for Indian judiciary system as one of the longest fought cases have a less than perfect ending.
Priyadarshini Mattoo lost her life more than 14 years ago for no fault of hers but because a spoiled brat took fancy to her. Since he belonged to an influential family many witnesses turned hostile and defense became week. It is no secret that integrity can be easily bought by a wad of notes. Hence the culprit was free to move around and maybe stalk other innocent girls while the long drawn fight for justice continued.
Thanks to the media attention, public support and help from activist the long awaited justice was finally achieved and a killer was given a death sentence for committing a heinous crime. But today Supreme Court has over ruled this hearing and changed it to life sentence. Some may argue that life imprisonment is equally bad but not for the corrupt and rich. Any one who can manage to change the court rulings can also mange an easy life in prison.
Close on the heels of this comes the acquittal of 6 men accused of raping a TISS student. The reasons given are ‘lack of medical evidence’ and ‘changes in the version of the victim.’
A victim who was drugged and obviously traumatized must after suffering, chronologically list down the events to ensure she can prove that she was indeed raped. The fact that she was taken against her will to a place by 6 men drunk and high on drugs is not enough.
I also do not agree with the people who say that sometimes women wrongly accuse men of sexual harassment to exact vendetta. No women would bring upon herself the shame and humiliation that usually follow a rape victim in our country. Is that not why so many rape cases go unreported? And even if we take this argument to be true what could possibly transpired a foreign student who had met these men just a few days ago (confirmed by both victim and accused)
Is it not bad enough that justice in our country is delayed? It sometimes takes 10 years in open and shut cases (Jessica Lall) for victim’s family to receive justice and some sort of closure. Nothing can bring back their loved ones but at east the knowledge that no other innocent will suffer by the hands of the accused culprit bring some satisfaction. But it is worse if the committed manage to get their sentences lessened or delayed by going to higher court.
The message it gives out is that you can go ahead and commit crimes. If you have money you will walk scot-free or the justice will be delayed and while the victim’s family suffer you will enjoy a normal life.
I wonder when will our justice system wake up.

The tolerant nation

2010-07-23T23:43:00.000-07:00

I have realized that I am the citizen of a country which has immense patience high level of tolerance for the difficult conditions they live in.
How else can we explain the lack of inaction from our end even after we struggle with endless series of horrifying incidents.
In just a last few months we have seen the biggest aircraft disaster, where hundreds lost their lives. As always we are yet to receive an official report of what went wrong. Hundreds of dreams were shattered in that disaster but we moved on.
Within a month came the news of Gyaneshwari Express train derailment. A suspected Naxalite attack which killed close to 170 people and wounded many more. It left physical and emotional scars on all those people who travelled in that ill fated train.
A few weeks back, there was an incident of deadly Chlorine gas leak which thankfully was spotted in time and hence did not take any life. But it still affected quite a few and they had to be admitted in a critical condition. Yet again there was no clear explanation given as to why this deadly gas was lying in the dockyard for years now and why was it not reported earlier. It was a disaster waiting to happen. What’s more this came in the wake of the injustice meted out to the Bhopal gas tragedy victims.
More recently the train crash in West Bengal took lives of many. Already the buck passing and blame game has begun. The politicos are busy ensuring that there image remains untarnished and the fact that yet again hundreds lost their lives is secondary.
The biggest threat to the country today are the internal terrorist whom we know as the naxalites and Maoists. Thousand of innocents lose their lives to them every year. And what does our government do. They ‘strongly condemn their action’ and turn the other way. Of course the fact that these groups were born because as a rebellion against our corrupt and oppressive political system is another story.
What about the young students who go to Australia to pursue their academic ambitions. There have been deadly attacks of them. In more than one case the Australian police have allowed the attackers to leave. But our government is not questioning them. They are not taking strong action. The fees paid by these students is a big support to Australian economy. Moreover our children don’t go there by unfair means. They are chosen on their merit and hard work, and if that country cannot protect the other nationals then they should not admit other nationals in their institutes.
Our regular life is also filled with perils. With inflation soaring, the middle class is forced to live on shoe string budget.
Every day the newspapers are filled with stories of bomb blasts, attacks, terror, unjust and delayed court rulings. We sigh, put down the newspaper and move on. But how long will we keep doing that. How long will we keep hiding the scars that each one of us have from – the train bombing, 26th July rains, 26/11 attacks and simply go on.
No, I do not believe that we resort to violence. But we need to begin questioning our government, we need to stop taking things lying down, we need to wake up as a nation. And most importantly we need to begin voting.

Plight Of Women

2010-07-19T03:47:00.001-07:00

I am reading a book by an English author on the plight of women in Saudi Arabia. The very things we take for granted such as freedom, education, opportunity to work, even a breath fresh air are forbidden to them.
The atrocities committed against them are mind boggling. However somewhere in the middle of the book I started seeing the horrifying similarity between the situation of women there and here in India.
What is ironical is that we have a festival to celebrate the goddess of power. She is put on a pedestal and worshipped, yet the actual treatment of women is sickening.
Female infanticide is rampant in our society. Already the male to female ration is alarmingly low and is going down even more. The surprising aspect is that the women of the family also support this barbaric act. It never fails to surprise me that man in his limited thinking is not understanding that he is bringing about his own extinction.
Another heinous crime which is being committed in the name of family pride is ‘Honour Killing.’ Though this crime is not new, but it has now caught media attention. Many young lives have been sacrificed, ruthlessly ended because they dared to live differently and not follow the dogmatic and outdated laws set by our society. As a kid I used to hear about these horror stories in small villages. But recent cases are testament to the fact that the so called educated and urban families of India are only modern in their lifestyle not in their thinking.
Scarily the number of dowry deaths of only been increasing. Hidden behind names like suicide or accident this evil still persists and hounds young women.
Child marriages are still practiced in some society of our country, ending ruthlessly with it many dreams of young girls. And the crime against women is increasing at an alarming rate in both urban and rural areas. News of ‘witch hunts’ and inhuman treatment of women branded as witches are rampant in rural India.
These are just a few issues haunting every woman who is born as an Indian, because by birth she is fated to be treated as a second class citizen.

Monsters Amongst Us

2010-07-02T01:32:00.000-07:00

Since the Kurla cases have come to light it has exposed another horrific facet of human nature.
There is something disturbingly scary to know that among us walks a human being who is capable of picking up little innocent girls who are practically infants (the youngest was 5 years old), raping them, killing them, mutilating them and then dumping their bodies.
What could possibly motivate a human being to commit such a heinous crime and that too not once but thrice? I have read the reports which suggest that the accused has a mental problem and is a social psychopath. But then does this behavior of his and violent tendencies not reflect in his daily lives and habits. Should that not give him away or at least expose the workings of his sick mind to those around him.
What is scarier is that our police force has not yet been able to capture this monster. Yes, today’s headlines scream that the case has been solved. But when you read on, you realize that the accused DNA matches the sample taken from only one victim.
If this is the case has a group of sick men who are doing this together then where are the other culprits, when will they be caught and how can we be sure that the guy arrested is really the cold blooded killer who has been preying on scared little children of Kurla. Does his background match the diagram drawn out by consulting psychiatrists on this case?
What if he is not, what if the real killer or killers are still out there? Can the terrified parents keep their kids at home forever? Can they sleep in the nights again?
These are the poor people of our country. Those who live in a 6 X 4 rooms and call it there home. Who still send their kids to school and hope that they are able to fly the coop. They have big dreams for their kids. They don’t have enough, but at least till now they had their dreams and peace of mind. Looks like that has been snatched too.

Death of a Dream

2010-06-17T03:55:00.000-07:00

A chance to bring in this world and nurture another life is the most precious gift. Each child born is the apple of his parent’s eyes, a bundle of joy and a constant source of happiness. Every parent has dreams for his young one.
Imagine the state of the parents whose dreams are cruelly crushed, ended before they even began.
The latest case of the suicide of a student at La Martiniere is just one example. The media reports state that the kid was regularly caned by his teachers and principals. Unable to take the torture any longer the student ended his life.
And this is not the first case of such death. There have been hundreds of cases of students killing themselves for fear of bad grades, ragging, ridicule by friends or depression.
It makes me wonder when did being a child become so complicated. Our childhood is supposed to be the wonder years of our life. A time when you believe you can conquer the world.
A time to learn, play, laugh, climb trees, play cricket on long endless summer afternoons, eat stolen mangoes and so much more.
I remember having a teacher in school who regularly used to beat us up. Her terror was such that no kid had the courage to tell her parents about her. But I did. The result being my father (an angry young man then) went up to her place and categorically told her that is she ever as much as touched a hair on my head again he will have her jailed. The result was that the teacher though deliberately gave me less marks but never hit me again.
The point of the story is that if there is something bothering your child get him to speak about it. Have an open channel of communication so that you are aware of your child’s activities and hence aware of his mental and emotional state.
Lets ensure our dreams live on……………..

Bhopal Gas Tragedy verdict

2010-06-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

Why is it that we take terrorism so lightly? Be it terrorism from outside or the corporate terrorism in our country. For what else will you call the mass death of 1984 in Bhopal? Criminal negligence which lead to thousands of death and is still affecting the new born babies.
But the cost of lives in India is very less. We have become immune to deaths and destruction. We look at tragedy shake our head and move on.
25 years ago lives of thousands of people got affected. The entire city turned in to graveyard and the people responsible for it have walked out free today.
To begin with – Why did the case drag on for 25 years. Why was justice not speedy. Why was the UCIlL chairman allowed to fly back to New York.
Sadly these questions will never be answered. Some victims with simmering anger will go back to court. The case will drag on for another few years, no real justice will come out of it. And meanwhile another tragedy will strike, another set of people will die.
We will read the headlines, shake our heads and move on…..

Happily Ever After

2009-10-23T05:35:00.000-07:00

I am not a cynic infact quite the contrary. I am a diehard romantic and love sappy movies and books. In fact I thrive on them. But once the last song music dies down the last page of novel is over. I always wonder about the ‘happily ever after’.
Our movies always show romances between complete opposites or between social classes. Here are a few examples of what I think might have happened to some popular Indian screen romances:
Maine Pyar Kiya
Prem would have soon gotten over his infatuation to Suman. He has studied abroad and she has only studied till 12th that too in a village. Not really made for each other. There are diverse interest would have soon led to divorce and a hefty alimony for Suman.

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge
The perfect pair of Raj & Simran. Once back in London, Simran would have soon realized that apart from having failed in graduation, Raj was also a flirt, a drunkard and completely way ward. Being an enterprising girl I am sure she would have soon take over the business reins of Raj’s father. They would have divorced with Raj getting a hefty alimony

Dil To Pagal Hai
The extra cosy friendship between Rahul and Nisha would have rankled on Pooja’s nerves. And she would have given him the ultimatum. Choose your friend or me.

Raja Hindustani
She was a heiress and married a taxi driver. I am sure you all know what would have been the outcome after a few years.
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Once Anjali realized that Rahul was still mooning over his dead wife she would not have taken too kindly to the situation. What with a larger than life portrait of her hanging around. Also the past must have rankled between them, when Rahul had favored the more stylish Tina. Plus with 2 same names in the house there must be a lot of confusion. Anjali not deciding to play second fiddle must have called Salman Khan back and renewed her engagement with him. Serving notice to Rahul.

Salaam Namaste
The lack of money and burden to of 2 kids would have driven the axe in the relationship of Amber and Nick. Plus their ambitions would have soon rekindled and they would have realized parting ways and finances was best idea.
just food for thought...

Dignity in death

2009-09-08T03:52:00.001-07:00

How many more Ishrat’s will have to die a gruesome death before such police cruelty is stopped. These are the lawmen who are supposed to protect us. They take the oath to safe guard justice and fight evil but end up at the other side. Ishrat’s case is not the first and sadly will not be the last case.
The report which has probed in these deaths clearly states that the last journey of the poor girl was terrifying. Imagine a young girl with dreams of future in her eyes is dragged off to an alien city and killed in cold blood for no fault of hers, except maybe her religion. What’s worse is that her family is not allowed to mourn her loss. She is branded as a terrorist, a threat to society and her memory is also sullied.
A few month’s back a young boy who had gone to Ludhiana to find a new job was gunned down by the police who claimed he was a terrorist. It was clear in his post mortem that he had been shot at a point blank range and not from far off as the police claimed. That’s not all there were bruises on the boy’s body indicating beating and torture hours before his death.
Young lives ended cruelly to satisfy a greed. And there are so many names and cases which have never even come forward. Poor people who have been killed mercilessly to finish off a case, earn a promotion or medal. These are the regular people who do have contacts with higher officials, but have the misfortune of being born poor and helpless. There is no one to fight for them, to take up their case to fight against the injustice that the system is inflicting on them.
Branded as terrorist fake encounters are a regularity. First caught, beaten up then killed there bodies are the dragged to a designated spot and weapons are planted on their body as evidence.
And when the real terrorist attack we call for our NSG commandos to save us.
Next time these ‘heroic’ police officers should be sent. Lets see them gun down real terrorist.

Broken Dreams

2007-11-16T04:35:00.000-08:00

Went to see "Om Shanti Om" but was more riveted by something else than Shahrukh's 6 packs. Though he has serious drool factor.
What grabbed my attention was the struggle of the junior artists shown, and since I was a part of that industry, admittedly for a short span of time, I could relate to it.
There were so many young aspiring people who I had met. They had all come to this city with a dream in their eyes. The dream to become big, to see their names in posters, to be admired and loved by millions, to have the fame & glory. But not all manage to achieve it. For every success story there are hundreds of broken dreams.
I remember meeting a girl called Sanjana. A lovely looking gorl, with talent as well (She used to entertain us with anarkali dialogues, and she was good). She had come from a small town and had spent most of her parent's savings on her portfolio. However lack of offer forced her to become an extra and stand in the crowd scenes.
Whats more soon the grim realities caught up with her. Living alone in an alien city with no reguler source of income is not easy. She was forced to look at other avenues which I dont need to mention.
Her parents saw her condition and tried to convince her to come back home. Like every other parent they wanted her to settle down, have a secure life. But the lure of fame was too strong. I never got to know what became of her but I vividly remember the last time I saw her. On one of the sets wistfully looking at the heroine.
Sanjana is just one of the many stories around. All these kids come here thinking they will be the next heart throb and its shattering for them when they have to stand behind the main actors. Soon frustration turns to bitterness as they wait endlessly for their star to shine bright. The camera doesnt even focus on their faces but they still try to get the best possible place to be "seen".
They are hopeful that one day they will be discovered and sometimes years go by in this hope.
Whats more the treatment meted out to extras is terrible. With no proper rooms or restrooms, sometimes they stand out in sun for hours. The food is tasteless and the money is hardly adequate if you live alone in this city.
But young kids still flock towards this line, hoping that there time to shine will be on soon.Hoping that by being near the stars or main directors they will somehow manage to get that much waited for break.
I know how hard it is to break that dream and come out but its not impossible. Its best to face reality than live forever in a dreamworld.
Believe me their is world of opportunities out there. And yes I know its difficult to break your dreams but do that before they break you.

That moving experience

2007-08-24T01:01:00.000-07:00

It was the time most of us dread. Yes the shifting of houses. Where you are forced to let out the skeletons from your closet (literally)
I had to shift to a new house and began the tedious process of packing, throwing away unwanted item and an experience, which I had not expected.

I began with my wardrobe wondering how I had managed to accumulate so many clothes (especially since I never have anything appropriate to wear when the occasion arrives)
So I started pulling out and decided to throw away the clothes I don’t wear – A yellow halter top I never had the nerve to wear, but had bought it cause I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it. I remember not having enough money to buy it. I had borrowed money from my friend to get it. My white school shirt with all my friends’ messages scribbled on it – now I couldn’t possibly throw that. I vividly remember the last day of my school. All of us eager to go out in the world and scared as well of coming out from the safe cocoon of our school. A lovely black lace shirt that I had burnt by accident – but I could not bear to part with it.

Sigh this was hopeless so I moved to the shoe rack –
There was a pair of original Charles & Keith that I had managed to get in a sale. Unfortunately it was a size small and ended up giving me the worst pain if I wore it for long. But then I could always wear it on special occasion. Right???
And then there were my favorite fuzzy bunny sandals. Ugly but so comfortable.

Realizing I was fighting a losing battle I finally opened a cabinet.
It was stacked with albums – All my school photographs, classroom picnics, college parties, birthdays.
And somewhere in between all these were letters. Letters my school friends had written to me (before the email age). Birthday cards sent by them, school year books and autograph books scribbled in.
That’s when I realized that I could not throw away any of this. So I packed up all these cherished memories to my new home.

Because after all – houses change, memories don’t.

Lost innocence

2007-06-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

Read an article in the recent India today, about how kids are growing up way too fast for their age. It is startling to know how concious they are of their looks at an early age. How 13 - 14 year olds are regular at beauty parlours and more shocking than that how 16 year olds are ready to go under the surgeon's knife to improve their looks.
Where its easy to blame the so called "westernisation" of our country and the influence of foreign channels, are we really a victim of that or are we just turning a blind eye towards our own faults?
After all are'nt we still hung over the 'fair complexion'. A certain cream is no. 1 in India because it promises fair skin in just 6 weeks. Whats more it even has ads running how till your dark skinned; you cannot become air hostess/ TV anchor or even a blushing bride till you are fairer than milk.
How about Indian TV serials which shows a girl being ill - treated and mocked till she is ugly to look at and then goes ahead to have the world at her feet as soon as she changes into a swan from an ugly duckling.
Lets not even start with indian films which are replete with examples about how the more beautiful girl always wins the man.
Hence lets stop blaming the western society for spoiling our kids. We have done it all on our own.
But we can stop this now. Lets stop making looks so much more important lets teach our kids how its more important to be a better person and a nicer human being than a pretty face.
Lets return their innocence to them. Lets tell them how being happy will get the natural glow in their face that no beauty parlour can achieve, how playing in the rain will get them a much better physiqe than any gym, how learning traditional dance will make them much better dancers than apeing Hrithik Roshan (nothing against him)
Lets teach our kids to become kids.

Death of Humanity

2007-05-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you smiled at a stranger, stopped running to catch the train to help someone who had fallen, fed a beggar. We all moan at the state this world and more precisely our country is in, but none of us are ready to take the responsibility. We are losing a precious trait - humanity. The trait which distinguishes us from animals.
The other day I was walking towards my office and saw a blind woman trying to cross the street, which is a busy and dangerous street and instead of helping her the motorist kept driving by at a high speed screaming insults to her. The office goers kept walking by ignoring the whole scene, they could not afford for there conscience to kick in and help her across the street and be 5 minutes late. I helped her across feeling a rage well up inside me. Since when did our jobs become more important then another human's life.
We wail about terrorism stalking us, murders and rapes increasing, little kids being hacked to death. Have we realised why crimes have become more violent and frequent.
Because we as a race have started caring less. We do not have compassion left for each other. We have been too busy reaching "there" to look around.
We have stopped being humans
We have become machines who dont feel, think or reach out. We just perform.
For the next promotion, the next incentive, the next hike.
When will we stop and start living again?

Suffering in silence

2007-04-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

I am one of the many women who have to rely on local trains for daily commute and like these thousands others have to face horrific conditions. To begin with the pathetic conditions of stations & platforms, the beggars and eunuchs in trains and just 4 compartments for women so that they are packed in like sardines. But all this is still better than what we have to face once we get out on stations.
I for one get down at the extremely crowded Dadar station. The staircases are so narrow there that there is almost a stampede everyday. But the worst part is disgusting and frustrated men taking advantage of the situation. Almost everyday me and hundreds of women have to face groping and touching in the guise of crowded station. I am one of the rare women to raise my voice and make a scene. But I am just looked at as a hysterical woman and dismissed. What’s more women themselves don’t support me and look away as if they don’t want to be a part of the whole thing. But believe me that does not deter me I have and will continue to make noise and fight for this extreme violation of my rights. This is not all, today there are police stationed in almost all stations but any plea of help to them falls on deaf ears.
The other day some men had gotten into ladies compartment all women silently let it happened. Only me and another women raised our voices and made sure these people got down but again the rest simply looked away.
I think we as women have become used to suffering in silence. We have become increasingly indifferent to sufferings of others and increasingly tolerant to crime against ourselves. We cant care less. So what if such heinous crime does not get reported, so what if I have to suffer day after day from such violations, so what if these frustrated sick men if not stopped today graduate to doing something more dangerous. I don’t care. That’s what our attitudes have become.
So many times I have fought for other women. I have seen such things happening in front of my eyes and tried to stop it but when the victim herself looks away and goes silently how much can I do?
What has happened to our conscience, our self-respect, and our esteem? Why are we killing it with our own hands? What stops us from fighting against injustice and crime?
Wake up women please. Scream, shout for that matter hit the next creep who has the audacity to touch you. Make an example out of every small incident; put fear in their mind so that they never do such a crime again. For tomorrow it will be your daughters who will be walking around in fear.

IES Series 4

2007-03-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

2 hours in between lectures

This used to be the days we would inevitably end up at ‘Sai Sagar’. And raid the tissues out there. Main culprit being Princu. As soon as the Sai Sagar guy would see us approaching he would hide his precious tissues.
Princu - wat will we eat?
Shraddhu – Lets have Indian ok
Me – no I wanna have those yummy Chinese stir fried vegetables
Renuka- And…
Me – And nothing else
Renuka- don’t be silly…. U will get nauseous
Me - No I wont
Renuka – Yes you will
Me – No I wont
Sabu – Never mind….. Ok girlies lets order
Shraddhu – Can I have my dabba out here
Princu – Yes let him give our order and go then we will have our dabbas too.
Orders come
After which Princu and Shraddhu keep trying to eat their dabbas and keep hiding it every time the waiters come in which is too often
Princu – I give up. I cant eat like this
Shraddhu – Nor can I
Me – (after having all of those vegetables) Groan I feel pukey
Renuka – I told u so
Me- Chabbbuuuuuuuu
Sabu – Its ok baby she is like that only

IES - Series 3

2007-03-22T01:34:00.000-07:00

Examination

The examinations are the most fun in our college
Find out why
Me hyperventilating outside the hall
Me – Oh god I cant remember anything I am sure to fail
(All the rest in chorus): Shreya Shut up!!!
Inside the hall
I am tired of hyperventilating so I am sleepy
Me sleeping
Renuka (whispering furiously) – Shreya get up! Lil idiot
I grunt
Shraddhu scribbling away furiously
Princu mummy making sure all the rest have pens, pencils, supplements before writing her own paper
Sabu glaring at Princu
Sheebu glaring at the question paper
Our very lovable friend (guess his name) puts his phone on vibrator mode and then balances it precariously on the windowsill. It vibrates in between (obviously and falls with a lound bang)
Our friend - **%%&*%%$##
Examiner - What the @@##%%&&$
I get up to see whats the excitement is all about and sleep again
Shraddhu scribbling away furiously
I manage to finally get up and write something before sleeping again
Princu making sure everyone else is writing
Sabu glaring at Princu
Now Sheebu is glaring at the answer sheet
Me too tired, finally go off to sleep again

IES series -2

2007-03-21T02:38:00.000-07:00

Shraddha & Renuka looking around furtively.
Shraddhu - She is not around lets go.
They duck into our tiny tea shop and buy a Vada Pav each. They come out and walk straight into Princu
They freeze
Princu – Ah caught you red – handed
Renuka (sigh)- But Princu we are hungry
Shraddhu – very
Princu – Then eat something hygienic like Sheebu
Sheebu munching on a packet of Haldirams
Me – Sheebu stop eating Haldiram we are supposed to making a project on Ruffles. Oh god! Did you get the questionnaires filled? U know we don’t have time (hyperventilating)
Sheebu ignores and goes on munching
Sabu – Shreyu. Shut up
Me – Still Hyperventilating
Shraddhu – OK OK I will eat Ruffles. Is that better?
Sheebu still munching. Me still hyperventilating
Princu – Much better. And Renuka what about you.
Renuka – nothing about me. I am eating my vada pav.
Princu – Fine rot your insides
Sheebu still munching. Me still hyperventilating
Sabrina- I have been wanting to try their new cutlet. Should I?
Princu – What is wrong with you?
Sabrina – U know I don’t like their food but how bad could it be
Princu (giving up )- you girls have lost it
Suddenly someone announces
‘Hey guys 3 presentations are due next week’
I faint

A typical day in IES

2007-03-17T23:42:00.000-07:00

Life in IES

A typical day in IES. (Hey girls guess who is who)
A comes in giggling
A – U know what XYZ (any boy in our class) did?
B – Now what in god’s name did that *&&%$@## do?
B – Heheheheeh He was making fun of XYZ
C – That’s bad he should’nt do that?
B – Why that ***&^%%##*
D – (to B) must you always over react? Why do you let such people get to you
C – Now now girls
E- Should we make a presentation on Pepsi?
A – Oh there are my Junior friends. I will just come in a bit
D – (grumbling) Does she know half the college
E – I know we will do our presentation on Pfizer
C – I need to buy new clothes/shoes/nailpolish/bag
D- Ok I will come with you. I also need new clothes/ shoes/ nailpolish /bag
C – Oh Pharma just came out. I will just come
B – why that **&&%%$$#@@@ no gooder is talking to C.
D sighs
E – I have it……. I have it we will make a presentation on Amul
(So any guesses????)

When love comes along.....

2007-03-06T06:31:00.000-08:00

When Love comes along…….

They were as different as fire and ice or for that matter as any girl and boy. To begin with her favorite color was pink and his was brown. Where she liked romance novels, perfumes and Yash Chopra movies, he liked bikes. She was always color coordinated. It would not be wrong to call her fashion conscious. Nobody could blame him for making an effort to look presentable
Hence as I said they had nothing in common yet when they met, magic happened. No it was not love at first sight. Where she was wondering how could anyone wear grey with brown, he was wondering how could anyone wear so much pink.
But then they spoke to each other, discovered each others true self beneath the exterior and realized that they were so perfect for each other.
Slowly but surely they started getting drawn towards each other not realizing the enormity of their feelings.
But then reality intruded they could not be together. There were issues like caste barrier, not enough money to live on, career demands but most importantly different dreams. They are still grappling with it. Will they live happily ever after. I don’t think so. Will one of them make the ultimate sacrifice and decide to give up their dream to make the others come true and if he/she does, will they be able to forgive the other and be happy. Again I don’t think so. But at the same time it hurts them to part ways. One wonders how such different people can fall in love. And when they do why is it so complicated.
Hence follow my advice never fall in love and stay happy.

Adoption

2007-01-29T23:24:00.000-08:00

Adoption

I have always wondered why adoption is viewed with so much suspicion. There are so many kids in this world who are deprived of love. They have either lost their parents or have been abandoned by them. For no fault of theirs they have been subjected to a difficult life. As soon as the word adoption is whispered people look at you with sympathy. The pre-conceived notion is that you want to adopt because you can’t have kids and hence are forced to adopt. Its not easy to get familiar with the idea that one might want to adopt just so that they could give at least 1 kid a happy, decent life.
However there are so many couples that can’t have kids. But these people would rather undergo expensive treatments and explore other options then adopt a kid. The reason given to me is that blood is thicker than water. The love that you feel for your own kid cannot be matched. Where I don’t deny this fact its beyond me to understand how you cant fall in love with a tiny bundle of joy. The other reasons given to me where that one can’t be sure of the kid’s genes, that its future behavior will depend on his/ her ancestry. Again I agree with the same, but also I know that an individuals behavior is more dependent on his/ her upbringing than his genes.
A serious worry could be that once the kid finds out that he is adopted he might be confused but knowing that his adopted parents love him as much as his own would have should alleviate his confusion and help him adjust. Our society needs good educated well-balanced citizens but there are a lot of kids out there who are deprived and will not be able to become one. What if each one of us decided to take the responsibility of 1 kid? Wont this be a happier world?

Its my fault

2006-12-16T06:35:00.000-08:00

I have got a black eye, but it’s not due to my husband. It’s completely my fault. I walked in to a door and hence got hurt. I am slightly accident-prone. The other day I had slipped from the stairs and broken my wrist. My friends thought it was due to him but it wasn’t.
My husband does not beat me up. No he doesn’t. He just gets very angry some times. But then that’s my fault too. I demand too much from him as a wife so he some times loses his cool. But no, the bruises all over my body have nothing to do with him.
Its just difficult for him to control his anger sometimes and I should try to understand that.
My parents want me to separate from him. They wonder why I put up with it. I have tried to tell them that it’s my fault but they don’t understand.
My friends don’t recognize me anymore. They can’t find the girl who wanted to take over the world. They say he has broken my spirit but I try to make them understand too that’s its my fault.The problem is I can convince every one except this one woman. The woman who stares back at me from the mirror asking, “Is it really my fault?”

Love at first sight

2006-12-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

He knew he was a faceless voice for her. Just someone she used to call when she required help. He worked in the systems department of a company while she was a highflying executive in the same company. However due to her job profile she always needed to transfer confidential data, which had to pass through system clearance hence their rendezvous. At least that’s what he would like to call it.
She had joined a few months back and he had been completely smitten by her. The first time they had spoken was when he had explained their system to her on the phone. She used to sit right across the glass partition, which separated the systems department from the rest of the office, and he had been completely bowled over.
He knew people always said that you could not fall in love with a person till you didn’t know her. But he knew her. He knew her name, her birthday, and her address more than that he knew what kind of a person she was.
By her open smile he knew she was a friendly person, by her soft voice he knew she was gentle; through her eyes he knew she was a dreamer. He had seen her share her lunch with the street urchins and knew above all she was a good person.
He also knew that she probably didn’t know of his existence but she was courteous and always used to smile at him whenever they happened to pass. He knew that she probably didn’t know that he was the person who helped her with her data but he didn’t care.
His whole team knew about his crush and used to tease him but he didn’t care. Every time the phone used to ring he would rush to grab it much to the amusements of his team members.
They had encouraged him to speak to her, introduce himself but every time he used to go in front of her he would become tongue-tied.
However one day he decided to take the plunge and talk to her but that day she left early.
Due to some tension in the city he left early too.
The next day he waited but she didn’t come. She didn’t come the day after that too. Then on the third day he got the mail. It was a general mail marked to all.
“We are very sorry to inform that our colleague Ms. Juhi Verma died in the 11th July train bomb blast. We hope her soul rest in peace.”

He looked across at her empty seat

happiness equals to......

2006-12-13T08:18:00.000-08:00

Happiness equals to….

Read a poem today which said:
She is the source of light in pine and sadness
She carries lightening in her hand
Her dreams are clear as clear as shadows
In the flaming paradise’s sands

And are not all our dreams unclear. Do we know what we want? Of course the easiest thing to say would be happiness, but then again what is happiness? What will make us happy? Usually we end up equating money with happiness. The more money we have the more happy we will. However this hypothesis does not usually work. The other would be equating happiness with love. The more we are loved or surrounded by loved ones, more chances of us achieving that elusive happiness.
By definition happiness is a state of mind. A state that can be created and controlled by us. So I guess all we need to stay happy is the will to stay happy.

Cycle of life

2006-10-31T22:45:00.000-08:00

The other day I was at the beach watching the waves come and go. They never tired of the same routine, coming with full force and then slowly ebbing back, to come again. Isn’t that similar to the cycle of life. When we are young, ready to take on the whole world, drunk in the power of youth we believe that we can and we will change the world.
And when we have fought our battles, done our bit we slowly go back letting the newer generation take over.
It’s also similar to the events in our lives. Sometimes when due to certain events we are plunged into despair believing that nothing can help us. When everything looks bleak and there is no hope but that time also passes and life takes a turn for the better.
It’s similar to the people who come and go in our lives, friends, relatives, and acquaintances.
As much as we would like there is hardly any constant in life. There is no time place or people who are there in our lives forever. But is it not the change the newness that keeps us engaged and engrossed.
I am still looking at the waves as they continue their rhythmic journey as the sun slowly sets behind the waves.

These are a few of my favorite things

2006-10-31T22:42:00.000-08:00

The morning sunlight dappling through the branches of trees…… the birds singing….. the waves crashing on the shore having a rhythm of their own….. the moonlight….. the flowers blooming….. the crisp, fresh morning air….. sunrise….. sunset….. the cold , tingly winter air……..
Do we ever stop to look at the nature with its abundant beauty…… believe me world is a beautiful place we just don’t appreciate it enough….

Trip down the memory lane

2006-10-24T02:12:00.000-07:00

Went to meet an old school friend a few days back and all the pleasant school days memories came rushing back to me. Those were the days when the biggest worry used to be doing your homework and studying for exams. The biggest crisis used to be your rival getting more marks than you, the biggest tension used to be how to convince your parents to increase your pocket money.
I was in a school in Patna, which had lot of open grounds. A beautiful, huge rambling structure surrounded by lush trees. Mornings used to be filled with cacophony of birds chirping and sunlight dappling through the thick branches of the trees. Crisp, clear morning air would freshen up our minds as we used to enter the heavy iron gates every morning. School was like a second home for us. Sure we all hated Math and yes the Hindi teacher was never popular among us but they were a part of life we all had come to love.
The Chaat stall which was forbidden to us as the quality of food out there was dismal. The buses which were barely in a moving condition, but were our daily transport.
Each of these facets had a charm of their own.
It was the time of dreams and aspirations. The world was going to be ours. We had huge dreams. There were scientists, architectures, engineers, doctors even astronauts among us. Nothing was impossible or unachievable in our young adolescent minds. It was also time to build long lasting friendships. Some of my best friends from school are still in touch with me. Life was uncomplicated and simple.
It was also the time for young romance to bloom. It was a huge deal if the guy you liked looked at you and if he came and spoke to you, you would remain high in the popularity charts for weeks.
There was also the healthy spirit of competitiveness in all the inter- school competition and if we were not participating then we would be screaming ourselves hoarse cheering on the participants.
Yes those were the days……. And as Bryan Adams has put it so well those were the best days of my life.

Indian serials

2006-10-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

The Impact of serials/ soap operas on Indian households

Picture this scenario. Its 10pm and in the Gupta household Mrs. Gupta is shedding copious tears watching Parvati struggle with her difficult life. Parvati is not her relative or friend, far from it she is not even a real life person. She is a character from a popular soap opera, which runs on one of the most successful television channels today.

4 years back when ‘Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi’ and ‘Kahaani ghar ghar ki’ was launched on Star plus, history was created. The TRPs skyrocketed. Star Plus became the no.1 Hindi channel in India and Balaji Telefilms got registered on Indian stock exchange. Scheming mothers-in-law and innocent daughters-in-law seemed to be the rage. The popularity of these saas- bahu sagas was so high that Tulsi; the female protagonist in ‘Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi’ went ahead and became a political figure. This could probably be an example of the fact as to how much Indian serials influence their viewers.

Today the characters of Indian serials have become an integral part of the viewer’s life. What is it that attracts the Indian viewers towards them with such strong intensity? The reasons are plenty.
Where some women feel that they identify themselves with the characters and hence empathize with them, for some its just drama and excitement in their otherwise dull life. Again for some others its just interesting coffee conversation and pure entertainment. Whatever might be the reason today these serials are minting money and the channels and production houses are making profits.

The real viewers of most of these serials are not the urban households but the semi-urban and rural households were the pace of life is slow and TV provides the main entertainment. Over there these serials even dictate the fashion and influence the mind set of many youngsters.

What about the long-term impact of these serials? Since these serials influence the viewers so much do they not have a social responsibility towards their viewers? There is no doubting the fact that some of these serials show women in a derogatory light. The main protagonist is always the ever suffering, sacrificing woman who has to face various trials and tribulations. Some of these serials are the kind, which have the thought pattern of the dark ages. One serial on Zee TV is about a girl who has trouble getting married because she is dark in complexion. In my view such serials should be banned as they are in bad taste and in the guise of Indian traditionality such wrong thought processes are legitimized.

One serial, which came out and tried to do some thing different, was ‘Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin’. She was this bold, bubbly and brainy girl. Within a year of being launched in the television serial `Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin' (There's no one like Jassi), plain Jane Jassi seems to be well on her way to becoming an icon for Indian womanhood.
Six months after the serial `Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin' was launched in 2003, Sony TV's TRP ratings in the general entertainment category rose from 8.5 to 26 per cent.
However as the serial moved ahead it fell into the same trap. Jassi was transformed in to this beautiful glamorous model and the serial had a pretty predictable ending.

In the words of some of the viewers, this is what is selling in the name of entertainment today:
“All the serials are just getting too long. I watch three serials on Zee TV and all three are the same. They are going nowhere. Every one just cries and the situation is always bad. All three serial had many chance to make things fine and end the serial but no, instead they went for a generation leap”.
“ Fantasy wow! People are brought back from the graveyard! Dramatization and analogy what should I say about that. The Prima Donnas are always crying. Guys are distinctly uncomfortable in soppy-weepy scenes but have to do their job! All the mothers are generally clad in Swarowski sprinkled saris, and dote devotedly on sons, who can do no wrong! Really the serial makers think viewers have no intelligence”.
Indian serials first began with the introduction of television sets in Indian homes. The first soap opera on state run Doordarshan channel (the only TV channel that existed at that point of time), was ‘Hum log’. A story of a family comprising of 3 generations. It was urban, it was middle class and it was new, and till today it, along with ‘Buniyaad’ is considered among the best-made serials on Indian Television.
Then came the era of mythological serials. ‘Ramayan’ and ‘Mahabharata’ craze swept the nation. The traffic used to lessen on street at the time these serials used to run.
Even with the advent of cable TV, things weren’t so bad. Some of the earlier serials on Star Plus such as ‘Saans’ and ‘Kora Kagaaz’ broke the mould and gained artistic as well as commercial success. Some earlier serials on Zee TV such as ‘Taara’ and ‘Banegi apni baat’ also had the same privileged fate, but now things are different.
Indian serials now are often stereotypical both in storyline and in characters. The ideals of the quintessential Indian family are often given fanatical attention and the lines are written in grand, melodramatic tones. Balaji telefilms have been frowned upon for repeating the same storyline with different characters and sets. However this is the trend being followed by most of the serials and production houses today.
It could either be the lack of original ideas or the lure of going for the tried and tested formula. Also a standard feature is now is 20 year jump. However the only change that happens is that newer faces come in. the storyline remains the same.
Production houses need to be innovative and should also start respecting the intelligence of the viewers. They are not just there for pure entertainmen, television is a huge influencer and has maximum penetration and reach. It’s a powerful tool for spreading postive message and motivating the citizens. If regressive ideas are shown on television in the name of entertainment, it might have a huge negative impact on young, impressionable minds. After all they are also influencing a 16 year old girl sitting in some remote corner of the country. It’s a huge responsibility and its about time it was taken seriously.

life on run

2006-06-17T00:49:00.000-07:00

Life on run
Every morning when I am running around with the rest of the world I always tend to think, do we ever stop, ever stop to consider where we are going, what is our destination or do we just keep running. I think in the rat race we have all forgotten our general goal in life. We have started equating money with happiness and have decided that the more money we have the more we will be happy and hence this non- stop race to earn more and more. But I guess in this whole craziness we forget our main goal. Frustration and stress takes up most of our life. Will it be so bad if we all stopped in between to take a breather? If we all stopped to see the sunset, watch the waves lapping at the shore, ate paani puri from a road side vendor, got wet in the rain, shut off our mobiles on a Sunday and just spent it with our loved ones.
I respect people who have a certain goal in life and are willing to work hard to achieve it.
However I don’t think it should be done at the cost of personal happiness and peace of mind.

kiss of life

2006-05-22T01:56:00.000-07:00

Kiss of life
Just saw an episode of ‘desperate housewives’. It started and ended with how different kisses signify different things. They show a husband’s devotion to his wife, a mother’s concern for her son, a wife’s love for her husband, a friend’s love and finally how it satisfies our need to connect to another human being. I am sure the moral police of Bombay would never understand this and would continue to haul young teenagers for indecent act in public if they as much as hold each other’s hand.
Love needs to be expressed and there are various ways of doing it but somehow our society frowns upon any show of affection. I fail to understand it. It’s ok to spill blood, kill people, burn thousands of innocents in the name of religion and express rage, but a show of love is complete no-no.
Is it not the religion, which teaches us to love all, to not differentiate among each other on the basis of each other’s skin color. I don’t know about other religions but I am sure none of them propagate violence.

Media or monster

2006-05-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

It’s sad to realize what our news media has come to these days. The number of news channels has increased but the news item has not. Hence our resourceful news media has taken desperate measures
The personal grief of mourning families is flashed on news channels for all to see.
Be it Pramod Mahajan’s injury and subsequent death, his last rites, his family’s grief it was all public property.
What is more disgusting and disheartening is that the Indian public lap it up. We get some kind of perverse pleasure in watching other people’s grief and probably feeling thankful that it’s not us.
The whole episode of Suryanathan’s (the engineer) kidnapping and killing and his family grief was plastered over national dailies and news channel. I know it was an important piece of news, which needed to be reported, but did the poor widow need the cameras trying to get a close-up of her when she was going to pieces.
And when there is a lack of news, they fall back on the age-old formula, film stars
I was aghast to see one of the oldest and most esteemed paper of India had headlines like ‘What Salman Khan had for breakfast in jail today?’ and this was when there was a huge fire in a small town where thousands had died.
I am not belittling them. Far from it. I think journalism is a noble profession. They do the job of informing the whole nation, they can be a cause of revolution. It was the strong reporting of injustice to Jessica lall which started the public movement.
It was there strong take on the ‘Marine drive rape case’, which outraged the public. But it’s saddening to know that some times some of them will stoop to such levels to get TRPs. Selling some one’s personal grief. I am sorry but you cant go any lower than that. Guys please stop. We need good journalism, clean journalism, strong journalism, please give us that.

summer time

2006-05-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

Summer time
Good old summer is here again. It’s back to sweaty, sweltering heat and the merciless sun beating down our heads. The heat just seems to get worse every year but that probably our doing….and the threat of global warming is very real. However we do forget to appreciate the few flip sides of summer time.
Ø For one the economy shoots up. The sale of soaps, deos, sunscreens, sunglasses goes up. Not to mention cold drinks, ice cream and bottled water.
Ø There are also fringe benefits without going to an expensive club/gym you enjoys a sauna. And when it starts raining we will have the benefit of steam too.
Ø You actually do the healthy thing and start drinking 8 glasses of water. I think I have reached the mark of 15 glasses
Ø Summer is also good for service industry. Who can resist cinema halls and AC on full blast for 3 hours? There are also malls and restaurants with their super cool Acs.
Ø You save on fuel, as you don’t want to go out in this heat. Yes, even shopping is less enticing
Ø You lose weight. As u sweating even though you are not gymming (and this is just a conjecture)
Ø Mangoes mangoes mangoes
Ø Girls in bikinis (for guys)
So cheer up guys its summer time but the bad news is in mumbai its always summer time…hahahaahh……

Raj and Simran

2006-05-07T01:28:00.000-07:00

I always wonder what happened to Raj and Simran. You remember Raj and Simran. The star-crossed lovers of ‘Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge’. They were supposed to have lived happily ever after but did they. I feel they must have ended up in a divorce. Its not like they had a lot in common. If anything they were poles apart, completely opposite. Where these differences attract in the first place they slowly become the reasons for conflicts and skirmishes
Since childhood we are made to believe in happily ever afters. Right from fairy tales where Prince charming comes, sweeps the princess of her feet and takes her to her castle, where they live happily ever after……but do they? What happens when there are differences of opinions? When there is too much interference from in-laws, when kids come, when there is lack of space, lack of time, lack of understanding, lack of maturity?

Take the case of another famous screen pair, Prem and Suman, the famous lovers of ‘Maine Pyaar Kiya’. Did they have a happily married life? I really doubt. They were from 2 completely diverse backgrounds. Where he had studied abroad, she had barely completed her 10th from the local village school. What did they talk about? Did they not feel the lack of intellectually stimulating conversation?
And now my favorite couple Rahul and Anjali from ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’. Theirs must have been a relationship fraught with uncertainties and insecurities. Did she not keep wondering if he was still in love with his late wife? Did he not keep wondering if she had feelings for her ex-fiancée? After all he was physically more attractive.
I rest my case. Did all these happily ever after couples live happily ever after, or did their romance fade away with time. Did they manage to keep the magic alive or did it die in the rigorous daily routine of living.
I sometimes wonder whatever happened to Raj and Simran…….

A whole new experience

2006-05-06T02:50:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you my woeful experience when the fitness bug bit me and I decided to join a new gym. I didn’t know there were rules to be followed before joining a gym. Oh! You don’t know them either let me introduce you to some
In order to belong to a neo-world (what is a neo-world? I don’t know myself) you need to belong to a gym. And mind you in order to belong to an A-class gym you must first belong to a c-class gym, a b-class gym and slowly move up the ladder. Why, you may ask
That’s because you don’t come to lose wait in an A-class gym you come there to be spotted. Hence shed the extra kilos before you move up the ladder
The second rule is you come in wearing designer workout clothes in which you don’t sweat (actually no sweating is a general rule)
Your hair has to be perfect and poker straight (if it’s the latest fashion). Actually I sometimes wonder if ironing the hair means making your hair pump iron so that they don’t move
Unaware of all these social etiquettes I entered the first day in gym pants two-sizes too large and t-shirt three sizes too large. Needless to say I was looked down upon the PYTs ‘exercising’ out there. Actually they were swinging the dumb bells while checking their make-ups in the mirror. I was assigned a bored looking instructor who was more interested in whether her nail polish was clashing with her outfit or not. She generally pointed in the direction of exercise machines (which looked like you needed to get an engineering degree before you tried them out) and scurried towards the entrance when she saw a slightly successful actor entering.
I was looking like a scared duck ready to bolt when another instructor (this one was obsessed with her hair) took pity on me and helped me out
Truly traumatized by such experience I showed up the next day during ladies timing hoping that the instructors would not be too distracted by the hunks (or should I say hulks)
Well the instructors (this time middle-aged ones) were not too distracted. They were simply too busy swapping recipes with bored housewives who were talking more and walking less. Soon the conversation turned to husbands, in-laws, kids and less exercising was done.
Sighing I decided to give up my pursuit of health and fitness. The trauma of the experience however may have left lasting scars on my mind.

The triumph of goodness

2006-05-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

Since childhood, I have been told that good wins over evil, and it happened in all the fairy tales I read. The evil stepsisters of Cinderella got their just desserts. Snow- white’s step mom could not harm her. Later in life as I grew up, in all the fictions I read, in all the movies I saw, the same thing was repeated again and again. But today on the 7th death anniversary of Jessica Lal’s murder I am not too sure if what has been taught to me is right.
Because if it was correct then how can we explain a murderer still walking scot free while the fighters of justice die waiting for the correct thing to be done. Or how can we explain the futile fight of Priyadarshini Matoo’s father. Or the very latest the murder of the Indian engineer by Talibans. Terrorism, a faceless criminal who has claimed so many innocent lives. What gives them the right to shed blood? And can we do something about it or are we going to sit and wait for some super hero to come and save us.
Someone who will make sure justice is delivered, terrorism is stopped, murders and rapes are stopped. And do you know who this person is?
It’s us, we the united citizens have the power in us to fight against these injustices. Was’nt it the huge public uproar that got Jessica lal’s case up to supreme court, got politicians involved. But lets not just stop here. Lets make a conscious effort to end evil.
Lets take small steps like stopping a crime happening before our eyes. How many times have we turned a blind eye towards eve- teasing by not wanting to get ‘involved’? but that’s exactly what we need to do get involved. Stop crimes around you. Make sure the area you live in is safe. Raise your voice over issues you feel strongly about. Report all the crimes to the rightful authorities and make sure the action is being taken.
Lets do this because tomorrow it could be one of us who might be victimized if this reign of terror and injustice was not stopped. Lets make sure that we can still read fairy-tales to our kids and ask them to believe in it. Lets hope that we are able to kill this monster called injustice and bring love and peace once more in this world. At least lets keep the hope alive.

be my friend

2006-05-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

Be my friend
Hi
Do you want to be my friend? My name is Asha. I am 6 years old. You know what is my favorite past time? Watching cars go by you. Now you must be thinking how can I see cars go by? That’s because I live on roads. I beg at the signals. Actually I have one of the most posh signals in city. I am at JVPD signal. I don’t know who my mom and dad are. The other elder beggars take care of me. I am supposed to give them all the money I earn and in return they give me food. However if I don’t earn enough money, I am not given food those days.
Sometimes, when the big cars come and wait at the signal I peep inside their tinted windows and see beautiful girls with lovely clothes and jewelry. It makes me wonder, why they are there and I am here. Then there are people in the ricks always busy with their mobile phones, acting all-important and in a hurry. They act as if we do not exist even when we bang on their windows and try to get their attention.
Sometimes I get to trade places with my friends at 4 bungalows. There is this huge shop over there. I look at the window display at all those lovely stuffed toys and beautiful clothes and wonder how it must be to be able to own all these things. However when I get to close to the shop the security fellow always shoos me away.
These days it’s very hot, but it’s better than when it rains. During rains we are perpetually wet and since none of us own more than one pair of clothes we all end up catching cold.
Sometimes some people give me their old clothes and food. Once someone had given me her old teddy bear. It’s my favorite possession and I guard it with my life.it’s the only toy I have ever owned.
Sometimes when I look inside the car I wonder if some day I will get to be inside all warm and comfortable. Someday I will not have to worry about my next meal. Someday I will get to wear pretty clothes and play with new dolls. At least I can dream. So, do you still want to be my friend?
v